This is satire. The events, characters and quotations in this story are invented.
IN A FICTIONAL FAMILY GROUP — An uncle has dismissed a carefully sourced correction to his morning message, explaining that his original information came from a much more reliable uncle in a different group.
The disputed message claimed that leaving your phone next to a coconut improves reception. It included no evidence, but did end with ‘PLEASE SHARE’, which the sender described as an instruction from the research community.
“Why would someone put it in capital letters if it wasn’t important?”
‘Why would someone put it in capital letters if it wasn’t important?’ he asked. A niece’s explanation of typography was met with a folded-hands emoji and a photograph of a sunrise.
The second uncle’s source turned out to be a third uncle, whose source was the first uncle. Members praised the circular system for keeping all knowledge within the family.
Administrators eventually restored order by announcing someone’s birthday. The coconut claim remains untrue; the group has moved on to discussing whether the birthday cake was too small.