This is satire. The events, characters and quotations in this story are invented.
CHENNAI — A fictional resident who set out for breakfast on Saturday has accidentally completed his weekly fitness goal after finding a legal parking space approximately one emotional kilometre from the restaurant.
‘I came for a dosa. I appear to be training for something,’ he said, pausing at a signal to let his smartwatch finish congratulating him.
“I came for a dosa. I appear to be training for something.”
The outing began with an optimistic lap around the block, followed by a less optimistic lap and a third lap conducted in complete silence. A space finally appeared on a street he had previously considered a separate destination.
The restaurant’s imaginary management has since proposed listing the walk as a complimentary wellness experience. The menu now describes breakfast as ‘served with cardio’.
After eating, the man briefly considered booking an auto back to his car. His fitness tracker urged him to finish strong. He turned it off.