This is satire. The events, characters and quotations in this story are invented.
CHENNAI — The entirely fictional All People’s Progressive Discussion Party has announced a seven-member committee to investigate the purpose of its previous seven-member committee, describing the move as a decisive step towards eventually doing something.
The earlier panel was constituted to examine a report recommending a task force. Unfortunately, the report was filed under ‘important’, a folder nobody has opened since the office printer stopped working.
“We cannot rush accountability. It needs a conference room.”
‘We cannot rush accountability. It needs a conference room,’ said an invented spokesperson, adjusting a microphone that had not yet been switched on. ‘We have already agreed on tea. This is not a small achievement.’
The new panel’s first task will be to establish whether the old panel ever met. Members have requested six months, two whiteboards and access to the person who remembers the Wi-Fi password.
A dissenting member suggested simply asking the previous chairperson. The suggestion was referred to a subcommittee on procedural shortcuts.
At press time, the party had released a photograph of fourteen people pointing at a closed file. Supporters described the image as the clearest evidence of movement so far.